(no subject)

[gayathri]

Hate hidden in a kinsman's heart will cause
many miseries, and more--it will kill a man.

When hatred arises, dissension destroys unity,
and men fall inescapably toward ever-ready death.
-Tirukkural 885-886

I was thinking about this one in terms of my inability to express in a timely manner that I'm annoyed, angry or feel hurt by someone's words or actions. I'm working really hard on this one -- even if all I do is say, "That hurt," or "wow, that makes me really angry," -- even if nothing comes of it, I find that just stating it outloud _to_ the person makes for clearer communication and the ability to continue to be friends.



He is dear to me who runs not after the pleasant or away from the painful, grieves not, lusts not, but lets things come and go as they happen.
-Bhagavad Gita 12:17

I'm not so sure on this one. I _do_ avoid them, or mostly run away. I had a situation recently that made me laugh so hard -- where it was something I'd been wanting, needing, and when it came, I ran away!

I think this one means that while we should have ambition and focus on goals, that there should be moderation and an non-attachment on the results of the goals.

This one is ALSO tough. I have a goal to LOSE WEIGHT -- so that I'll feel better, sexier, stronger as well as the health benefits of being fit and leaner.

Hrm. bed time

Comments

[lil-brown-bat.livejournal.com]

Goals are good, but. Well. I use the analogy of a hike: you see a peak in the distance (or a lake, or a waterfall, or a whatever) and say, "I want to go there!" And off you go.

Only you find, as you continue on your path, that you can't always see the peak. Sometimes it's blocked from view, and you have to go on your memory or instincts or knowledge. Or sometimes you can see it, but you have to choose one of several paths to get there, and the obvious "right" choice takes you to somewhere you'd rather not be. Or it starts to rain, or snow, or you run into a bear. Or maybe you do get there, and it's blazing hot and swarming with mosquitos and just not as nice as it looked from afar. Maybe you even get a pretty keen notion that it won't be all that nice as you're approaching it -- but dammit, you worked this hard to get here, you're not stopping now!

Non-attachment to the goal means being able to cope with the consequences of not getting it, which is good, because there are many factors beyond our control. But it also means not holding onto the goal so tightly that you can no longer question whether it's what you want, and whether you're going about it the right way. Particularly in the modern developed world, when so many of us have at least the option of pursuing goals that are big, long-term and complex, we see that the "successful" people are those who pursue these goals in a very single-minded fashion. And, to be sure, they probably get to where they're going more often then the rest of us; it's just that when they get there, they don't always like where they are.

There's a balance between this kind of life lived in blinders, and aimless meandering. I guess I should also say that neither tunnel vision nor aimless meandering is without its merits as a tactic, or maybe even as a lifestyle. But I think it is important, if/when you're functioning near one of those extremes, not to kid yourself about what you're doing. As you know, there are a fuckovalot of aimless-meanderers who kid themselves and those around them that they're "searching" or "seeking" or "exploring". Bullshit. Shackleton was an explorer; these folks just don't want to break a sweat or make a commitment. Likewise tunnel-visioners who pride themselves on their discipline and vision: right on one, but wrong on two, or at least that vision is stale and needs to be aired out. Tunnel-visioners have impressive drive and a great work ethic, and often a great strategic and tactical sense of how to obtain their objectives; but they're afraid to confront the "why", and that's fear talking, not discipline.

Think about the difference between questioning and dithering, or relaxation and laziness. Go for hikes. Work it out in your body. Feel the difference between a "questioning" walk and a "dithering" walk. 'Tis a good thing.

(I just got my #3 brother addicted to hiking, BTW :-))