how can I even begin to explain
Jan. 6th, 2009 04:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gayathriwhen my throat closes up everytime I try and talk. I've spent more time in the bathroom crying today than I really need to.
I've been going a little crazy with worry. I made the mistake of looking up Mitral Valve Replacement and completely frightened myself. People's insides are _gross_. Hence why I was an engineering major.
Finally called and spoke to my father tonite. He's leaving at 0400 est to go to Lennox Hill Hospital where Dr. Carlos E. Ruiz will be attempting the repair - something about a balloon type patch. If that doesnt work, and counting on what Dr Ruiz finds, it sounds like they'll call in Dr. Aubrey C. Galloway, an expert on minimally invasive Mitral Valve replacement to do his magic.
I feel better having some faces to go with the names, and hearing my father sounding very upbeat and positive about this thing. I feel better for telling him I loved him and couldnt wait to see him in a few days. I'm hoping to see him at home and not at the hospital. The sense of dread and doom I've had has lifted and I'm looking foward to a few days with my family of choice.
You know what my real new year's resolutions ought to be? To quit looking back. To be the change I wish in my life. Get over myself. To live and love fearlessly.
Thoughts become things - My father will be fine. I will see him this weekend, and all will be well.
I've been going a little crazy with worry. I made the mistake of looking up Mitral Valve Replacement and completely frightened myself. People's insides are _gross_. Hence why I was an engineering major.
Finally called and spoke to my father tonite. He's leaving at 0400 est to go to Lennox Hill Hospital where Dr. Carlos E. Ruiz will be attempting the repair - something about a balloon type patch. If that doesnt work, and counting on what Dr Ruiz finds, it sounds like they'll call in Dr. Aubrey C. Galloway, an expert on minimally invasive Mitral Valve replacement to do his magic.
I feel better having some faces to go with the names, and hearing my father sounding very upbeat and positive about this thing. I feel better for telling him I loved him and couldnt wait to see him in a few days. I'm hoping to see him at home and not at the hospital. The sense of dread and doom I've had has lifted and I'm looking foward to a few days with my family of choice.
You know what my real new year's resolutions ought to be? To quit looking back. To be the change I wish in my life. Get over myself. To live and love fearlessly.
Thoughts become things - My father will be fine. I will see him this weekend, and all will be well.
